As you may have already noticed, this website is a open and safe place to discuss holes, all sorts of holes, and not always just to make cheap double senses. So allow me to open a new topic centered around holes and discuss a sport that has made its holes all its business: golf, of course.
You may have read about the terrible drought this this summer (and the oil industry) brought Europe. One would assume that at this critical crossroads, draconian water restrictions would have to be in place to guarantee drinking water to the population and limit all non-essential water consumption. But of course the rich motherfuckers have a very twisted idea of what the main thing means and the rich motherfuckers got to thinking that golf is a real sport and essential to…I don’t know, their networking? I guess you don’t reach the Global 1% without having holes in your soul to fill.
This was the case in France, where several golf courses continued to operate in certain communes, benefiting from exceptions despite the significant water bans in place, probably based on the excuse “we are job providers”. Technically, they are only allowed to run at night and only use 30% of their usual water consumptionbut if you haven’t punched your screen already, yes, you’re screwed.
The French, of course, took this news in silence and quietly resigned themselves to losing their water rations a little more, because after all, aren’t golfers the captains of industry, the leaders of the economy, job providers who deserve to have their hard work rewarded with endless fields of pristine green and delicate white pavilions, and janitors who allow your mistresses to use the backdoor to go unnoticed by your club mates? After all, can you, by dint of jostling, one day become the kind of fat cat who plays 10 hours of golf a week?
Sorry, I made a mistake, I was thinking Americans and Brits when I wrote the above paragraph. Surely not! Of course, the French are furious, and being people who traditionally show no cold shoulder when it comes to protesting against injustice, the Toulouse chapter of Extinction Rebellion makes use of the long French tradition of sabotage, and filled the holes of two local yards with cement August 10, late at night.
It is our editorial policy here at Pajiba to uphold these legends. This is exactly the kind of shit environmental activists should be doing more and less stopping public transport or protesting nuclear power plants. sabotage the useless property the kind of rich assholes who say “golf without grass is like hockey without a rink”, as the president of the French golf association claims because if the French are assholes when they are good, they are also absolute assholes when bad. This, of course, triggered the baby boomers and assorted creepers, but I think we can safely say that they did the morally right thing. Some argued, reasonably, that the whole operation was moot since golf courses move their holes all the time; on the contrary, I think this chapter of XR invented a new and exhilarating sport: a cat-and-mouse game of opening and filling holes.
Golf, in particular, is perhaps the second most infuriating hobby of the affluent (after private jets), not because it’s a dumb game (that’s right, if I had that kind of ‘money I’d play paintball), but because you must be right to think there’s a challenge in a sport that’s played in pristine, neatly trimmed stretches of grass with a few sand bunkers and ponds here and there. Recall that this sport was created in Scotland, probably by sheep herders traversing miles of steep hills, rocky outcrops, marshes and fields of thistles. It is a real challenge; it sounds really fun and it’s something that all those bourgeois and aspiring bourgeois have strategically forgotten about. Never forget that until the arrival of Tiger Woods, it was a sport dominated by chubby middle-aged white men who smoked cigars on the field.
Toulouse, although located in the south of France, is slightly more humid than the usual southern European climate. The mildness of the Mediterranean climate attracts the wealthy, who in turn attract the developers of golf courses, hence the paradox of these useless water holes spreading everywhere in a climate which, by its own geography, will always be under water stress, even in the best scenario. The irony is that a golf course played up the typical Mediterranean landscape, with its hills, hawthorns, yellow pastures and random forests popping up here and there would make the best golfers and be something to brag about with friends. whose women you plow. But I guess it’s more important for insurance executives spending their monthly premium not to get covered in reddish dust. They might call this act of violent vandalism, but I don’t know, maybe making California or central Chile or Italy unlivable by sheer privilege is another kind of violence.
albert coxswain would also shame you for your lawns if you are in SoCal. Go man! We have a responsibility to the world: we are the only regions that can make wine, that’s where the water must go first. And the cacti are adorable.
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